Friday, June 08, 2007

Meet and Sing

Three-fourths of the Coven (the Editrix, Ethyl, and MartiniMistress) had a meeting with the president yesterday. MartiniMistress and the Editrix felt somewhat empowered by the prez, who at one point, God bless him, told us that we were free to tell MAN "to fuck off" if he was being ridiculous about something. Which, with MAN, pretty much means all the time. Praise!

Hence, this anthem for our weekly meeting:

to the tune of "Onward Christian Soldier"

Onward, Coven members, marching as to war
With the Snarky banner, going on before
Fuck off! is our mantra, use against the MAN
Forward into meeting, see the clueless die

Onward, Coven members, marching as to war
With the Snarky banner, going on before

Blondie added this gem (edited slightly to protect someone or another):

At the sign of Mary, Livin' on a Prayer
Run then, Coven members, lest she touch your hair
Hell's foundations quiver, she pesters us for days
Sisters, move her office, maybe then we'll get a raise

Onward, Coven members, marching as to war
With the Snarky banner, going on before

Thursday, June 07, 2007

Conquer this, buddy

As always, it's moronic corporate use of words that drives the Editrix over the edge. Today's entry: to conquest.

According to the WSJ, the new fad in online marketing is to place ads for your product next to editorial about a competitor's product. Interesting. Aggressive. In-your-face. A guerilla tactic. But what is the word used to describe this? Conquesting.

It's the combination of two things that, combined, really yanks the Editrix's chain. First, there's the misuse of a verbified noun, when there is a perfectly serviceable verb available, conquer. Adding insult is the whole testosterone-laden maneuver of placing the ads in locations for nothing more than twisting a nose. It is nothing more sophisticated than a dog peeing on a bush.

Here's my prediction: this fad will not last a year. Companies are going to start writing into their ad contracts prohibitions about the content provider placing competitors' ads near mentions of their products. So let's see, who will profit from this pathetically named trend? That's right, the lawyers. Oh, how the Editrix weeps with joy at the societal benefit.